I tell physio that my hands and joints in said hands feel arthritic. He immediately checks things out and puts the death grip on my arms and says is this the spot?? Yes of course it is !! How he manages to find them amazes me but he does as I babble on about the week and how it sucked with no elevators etc. Then I tell him I am feeling quite stressed about my mom and that she got a call from the Dr wanting to see her ASAP. DR. + ASAP = not good things. Seeing that I was getting stressed about it he distracted me with other things.
I had gone through the fast forwarding of people I love through the medical system and am familiar enough with it that I know it wasn’t going to be good news. But alas I plopped my smiling face on and off. We went for the appointment and as the last 2 times we went I gave mom a tour of the city on purpose because she was like go this way !! I’m like we have time and a different route is always
an adventure! As long as she is not feeling too bad this is what I plan to do when I pick her up so we are not focusing on the doom and gloom of the day for that moment in time. At the hospital we are doing ok but my mom’s nose is like radar super sensitive and as always she goes on a rant about the washroom smelling really bad. She compares the smell to sauerkraut and the smell of boiling tripe for soup. It’s a pretty shitty combination and almost has me spilling my coffee down my shirt as I was dying laughing when she said it. I have tears spilling out of my eyes as she is ranting about it quite loudly in polish and of course I’m still laughing about it when we need to get serious as the nurse calls us into the waiting room. The nurse mistakes my tears as sad ones and I tell her that it’s about my mom ranting about the bathroom. So mom went on and told the nurse and again I’m like dying of laughter because she is describing this to her! The nurse made a comment that she was going to check it out and bring a plunger with her as she was leaving the room… a doctor heard her and questioned the plunger comment. So my mom’s funny rant just went on the books for several people, and here we are back to reality. Her Dr. comes after a bit and tells us the news as we braced for impact her words come out. I hear the expected and dreaded c word…cancer but am not prepared for the rest, metastasized in the pancreas and lungs. My brain was like fucking shit what did she say?! So I repeated it and asked more questions that she said she couldn’t answer, those were for the Cancer clinic to answer and they would send a referral to them. SO we have to wait again! Fucking Hell !!! On the way home my mom asked me what I would do?? As she is going to have to make decisions as to whether to do chemo, or just live everyday like it’s your last with a pain management regimen. I told her that I would seize the time she has left and go out west and visit her grandkids and do whatever else she wants. As with chemo she would be tied down to the hospital and constantly being ill from the treatment. Why would you want that???
My Everest... 
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