My Everest…

As my mom is going through visiting Dr’s etc and thinking about this impossible diagnosis.  She pulls out all her paperwork for us to make sure she has everything and she has told me in conversations that she has all her ducks in a row….or does she??   Tells me she has one power of attorney (POA), her “living will”,  and her will.  I ask her about the POA and she is like yup this is all I need.   I’m like mom you need 2 POA’s one general and one medical.   I tried to explain it to her but she is not getting it.  Tell me that if she has surgery she will tell the Dr everything and it will be fine.   I once again say what if you are unconscious?  Unable to speak for whatever reason?  Many other scenarios run through my head….but I leave it at that.  The next day she calls me to tell me that she thought about it and she knows I am wrong and she doesn’t need the medical POA.  We ended up arguing about this over the phone which in turn I hung up on her as I didn’t want to yell at her and I was totally frustrated.  But I knew the next day she was going to the bank with my brother and told my brother the situation.  He said he would tell her the same thing.  My husband was just like when it comes up just tell her you need it, and end the discussion.  That is what I did and told her that I wasn’t going to argue about it and that was it.   Meanwhile I called my lawyer and made an appointment for her.  So she takes all her papers to the bank to talk to her guy and her looked at the POA and asked her if she had a medical one…no!  You need one, came both from my brother and his mouth.  She calls me the next day and tells me that it seems that she needs a POA medical and to make an appointment for her.  I told her the date and time of the appointment and to make sure that she takes all her papers as the lawyer will look over them to make sure all is well.  Then she goes on a rant about how this is going to cost her $$ and all this stuff.  If paying for the documents is an issue I will pay for them.  You need them and that is that !!  We went to the lawyer and he is telling her that she needs a POA medical  but her General POA was done back in ‘86 and it’s invalid because the rules have changed and 2 witnesses need to sign the documents.  She tells him that she still doesn’t think that she needs it but I made her come and get one.   He explains everything to her and why.  But I believe that she is still unconvinced about the need for them as she tells the lawyer that she has a living will and the Dr’s should abide with her wishes according to that document.   My lawyer tells her that it is good to have but Doctors are very sticky about those things and if she doesn’t have the POA medical then they might do things to her that she may not want on their own accord.   This way if the POA medical is in play then they need to come to whoever is named on it before they decide on what they want to do.   Hopefully at that point you have had many discussions about what you want done if the situation arises.   The thing that really irked me was the fact that she did not believe what I or my husband was telling her… this is something you don’t lie about and I knew what was needed because my brother and I happened to be getting all our wills and POA’s in order just last year so we know what she needs…but she seems to take the guy at the bank’s word over mine and it’s bothersome as I feel like she thinks I’m lying to her ….but hey as long as it worked out and she is getting the stuff she needs together properly.  That is all that matters!