I had a visit from my favourite furry 4-legged friends the other day. Honestly If they can’t make you feel good no one can! Instant smiles from everyone! Including them…running around checking everything out, tails wagging happily. Toys in their mouths just being their goofy selves when they greet people! It was great having a visit. It was during this visit that I also noticed that the flare bear had sensitized my hands to touch their fur, especially their favourite thing to get and mine to give is belly rubs ! I was sitting there giving Mr D a good old fashioned one as best I could muster when I noticed that my hands and fingers were turning red and my fingers were starting to swell up. I was like HELL NO! and quickly turned my attention to “lazy” who has totally different fur and that was better so I ended up switching it up back and forth between the 2 of them but I was damned and determined that the flare bear wasn’t going to take away the pleasure of giving belly rubs to my besties…. That’s so very unfair and unnecessary!!! Your a cruel one mr flare bear!
I went to physio in what seems to be my permanently perturbed state these days. I can reach the top of the door which is progress but it seems like everytime I get better going in one direction the other section doesn’t get the message and we are broken down and in the weeds. Like can we have some time where we are all living in peace and harmony?? Desensitization is incredibly slow…slower than a snail but the cracks in me are showing because i’m just like isn’t there something you can do??? Poke me with a pile of needles? Anything? Like seriously? It really doesn’t matter to me at this point. I’m a human pin cushion anyhow so what’s a few more tossed into the body?? Either the bugger (flare bear) will rebel and we will have a full on melt down again! Or something will change and if you don’t try you won’t know right? So we tried, 6 nice shiny new well placed acupuncture needles went into the arms. Then I was told not to move …..great ? why not ????? Bad things will happen if you do…like worse then what is happening to me now?? Just stay still!! I will be back! (yes Arnold!). Now it’s on like donkey kong my friends just a power of wills 6 needles vs the flare bear whatcha gonna do??? He removed the
needles and I just left hypervigilant to see what move the flare bear was going to take. My arms felt super heavy through the rest of the day and I was feeling really tired by the end of the night. But for the first time in a long time it was like there was silence between my arms, hands and the flare bear. I was afraid to do anything in fear of him striking out at me was he doing the same? Or was he wearing his army helmet and sitting there sprawled over his maps planning his next attack??? Only time would tell if the Ctr + Alt + Del message sent to reset the system via acupuncture worked or not. So I wait in the meantime. I let my chiro know what happened and he looked at things too and made some satisfying cracks to the body and we all wait to see if the flare bare sends up the white flag in surrender…or what he thinks of next.
It was 3 days until I heard something worth noting from the flare bear. There were a few little messages, twinges here and there but nothing that were sending me down a path of full on flare that I was aware of. I could type again, the cotton balls were less evil and overall my fingers and hands less sensitive. I could do more … hmm nice!! As the days progressed it felt like the sensitivity in my hands and fingers returned a little more each day. It’s not as bad as it was thankfully but it’s still there and the flare bear did say hi the one day when I was carrying the small load of groceries home sending mini bolts in my arms. So he’s there and he knows I’m watching and being super careful.
So I pushed it a bit overboard on the weekend and my exhaustion level is if there was one that went to 1million% then that would be mine but somehow we still manage to keep it all together. The weekend started with going to a concert and a few late nights. A trip to the sugar bush with the scouts and then their monday night meeting, oh and somewhere in there I squeezed in a walk on a beautiful Monday. A regular healthy person was already saying they were tired. Well, then little old me was just stick a fork in me, done tired!. Remember with me and my body it needs to be the drama Llama and if you need 1 day mine wants 10 days or however many it chooses. Pain, yes? But not as much as I would have expected senor flare bear to inflict. Surprising with the week that I had that he didn’t come out more. But I can feel him snuggling in my neck and shoulders as that’s his favourite place to play, and more so again as I type so we will see what happens when i go to physio. It’s progress but what now?? Acupuncture forever??? But for now we rest ….
My Everest... 
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