My Everest…

So when I went to physio feeling all battered and bruised from the flare bear kicking my buttcheeks all over the place of course I have questions.   Of course he has

answers…why did this happen from the sensation of wool rubbing on my hands???   First he does all these tests and I’m looking at him like why??   I have to check if it’s muscular or neurological… Better to check first, we knew what it was but needed to be 100%   Neurological of course it was !!! Ok so yes it is flare bear playing games. At this point I was so over and done with the flare bear I said kill him!  Problem solved right??   Nope I then got an explanation from the book of nerdology how it would be to live without a flare bear.  Once we heard that we wanted a flare bear back but we still were weary of the choice. On to our next question…as everything was so well calmed down and the flare bear and I were living in some kind of odd harmony.  Why this huge Drama Llama production from such a tiny act ?  I mean in roughly 8+ years we should have seen it all shouldn’t we???  Clearly not.  There will be no knitting of any kind in my future!   But what do we do about the flare up you ask?? Why am I not flaring up with clothes on?  Apparently due to them covering a larger part of the skin and the flare bear thinks it is normal !! Thank god for that !  Seeing that the arms and hand are highly sensitized at the moment the only logical thing to do is to start the process of desensitization.  Duh ….why would it be something different.  So he comes back with the highly technical desensitization technical tools… cotton balls.  I need to rub them on my forearms……they to me right now are the evilest things on earth known to man.   Best thing ever as I was leaving and gently cupping the evil cotton balls in my hand another lady looked at me and said ….he gave them to you too !! They are evil.   Hence we live life with evil cotton balls in our home and try to get a bit better everyday!

How are things you ask?  Annoyingly slow to progress.  I wish it went away as fast as it came on.  The evil cotton balls still live in my bathroom as a reminder to rub them on my arms when in there.   Does it make me mad?   Sure does…it makes me feel all the feels but I can’t change it.   The only thing I can do is make little baby steps and hope that makes the flare bear happy.  Do I wish that my life didn’t revolve around my flare bear yup.  If there was an option to do a flare bear transplant I think there would be a few people like me lining up for it.   The tricky part being is right now you kind of know the flare bear you have inside you.  With a new one hmm ….i don’t know what to think….reprogramming from scratch sounds like a task and a half !!!   But desperate times…  A conversation I recently had with someone made me wonder why people procrastinate with getting care they need especially if it is covered by insurance?  Why are so many people in denial with the simple necessities?  Why aren’t they taking care of their sight when they know they need to go get glasses.  I mean ok you can read the next table’s menu that’s great ! You can try and pre-read the menu online and then pretend to look at it.   Or just simply wear your glasses if you got them. I love the people that walk around and squint at things.  I understand if you don’t have the $$ for glasses as they are very expensive trust me I know.  But don’t buy them and just leave them at home.   They aren’t helping you one bit. Also a “shout out” to the people who should wear hearing aids, and can afford them?   Why are you all denying yourselves the beauty of something so wonderful.   Your sight so you can see things in crisp clear detail.  Your hearing so when you have grandkids you can hear their precious cries.  Or immerse yourselves in beautiful music of nature.  Your voice would thank you as you wouldn’t be yelling anymore!  What I am trying to say is don’t give up any part of your body, you need it all.  I’m fighting for my touch, my ability to communicate with you everyday causes me pain but because I’m stubborn and strong (don’t ask where I get it from…perhaps amazon) I keep on going because once it’s gone then it’s gone !!   Think about It !!  If my fix was so simple I would be there in a heartbeat!