My Everest…

I was a tad bit stressed yesterday and still continue to be when discussing the potential ups and downs with my mom going to Dr’s appointments and being fast forwarded to medical appointments with specialists.   I went through it with my husband when we found out he had a mole that wasn’t healing.  That turned out to be skin cancer.  With mom it’s a lump in her pancreas that she didn’t even know she had.  Goes in for an MRI for spots on her lungs and 2 days later the dr calls her giving her the news about her pancreas.  Saying we need to do a biopsy to find out what this is and it needs to be done asap! 

Hence my hunch that it doesn’t sound good as if it wasn’t a problem the Dr wouldn’t be calling her first off and second they wouldn’t be rushing her to appointments.  However, that being said both the Drs she was sent to are extremely busy or on holidays.   So for now we wait while she is in limbo with this news.  The problem with this delay means that I must cancel my holiday as I don’t want her to be going through this alone when she gets her potential bad news.  Or if she needs someone to go to appointments with her I want to make sure that she gets all the information she needs to make important decisions regarding the issues she will face.   As I am the one not working, that job falls to me.   The other part is ….do you really want to go on holiday with your mom facing a potentially horrible life changing diagnosis and not be there for her?    I would be so stressed thinking that every time I got a message on my phone it was about her.  Also I wouldn’t want to be too far away so that if she was feeling really unwell and needed to go to hospital I can be around. Don’t get me wrong, I am not hovering over her. I am here for her when needed.  If she needs to talk about something or just a shoulder to cry on ….mine is available. I am but a phone call away.  But if I was away I wouldn’t have that flexibility.   If she’s asked if she’s ok with us being on vacation while going though this I’m sure she would say yes.  I would say the same thing so as not to inconvenience anyone.   But are you really telling me the truth of it all??? No she will say go it’s ok.   So that’s what hubby and I did.   We canceled our upcoming vacation and took it out of the equation for her.  I think she will be relieved when she finds out.   As for us well we can always go on another vacation another time.   This way she can lean on her support team..no questions asked.   As for my stress level we will have to take it in stride.