My Everest…

Recently I was talking to my social worker and I was telling her about how when people talk to me they are finding that they get a look that comes across my face unbeknownst to me.  Possibly confusion??  My husband has been saying that it’s just me being stubborn and wanting to get my way and getting ready for some kind of smart retort.   Which for him and I an argument is sure to ensue.  Or I get pissed off because I get cut off mid sentence and as I am not allowed to even finish what i was saying in the first place.  Which does happen a lot!   I am pleading for patience at this point because my choo choo train of thoughts gets lost somewhere but it does come back and instead of frustration at it which trust me I have enough of that for the whole lot of us.   Just wait for it to return or make fun of it or whatever you choose I will not be offended!   Just please don’t interrupt me or  make me feel that what I want to say is not important because I can’t get it out as fast as I want or used to.   The other thing that happens is that in my head I think something and the words that come out are something totally different !  But I think that what I said was what I thought until I see the reactions on peoples faces.  

I’m telling you I have had some arguments there and misunderstandings.  Another thing that happens is when I am listening to people and they are asking me to do something for them at the same time, I feel like I am being pummeled by information.  Multi tasking used to be easy, having music playing in the background and doing stuff was not an issue.  But i am finding more and more that I like to have less of the music and more focus… When people are talking and I am trying to track the conversation and do something at the same time I need to ask them to pause the chit chat and reconfirm what I am doing or hearing just to make sure I get things right! Especially if I am spending their $$ online and I don’t want them to have the hassle of having to deal with a return later on.   Do it once the first time because if not you will be hearing about how you didn’t listen to them.  The problem here is …that my wonderful brain and the flare bear listen to everything !!  They then process it through the Central Sensitization control center and the pain filter.   Sometimes this takes a while …hence the brain farts,  or the train derailments.  But when it gets to the output part sometimes we don’t know what we are going to get !!   it could be exactly right or exactly wrong, or alphabet soup !!  Just like when I blurted out ROUND at my Chiro’s shirt.  So when I am out around the kids I need to be extra careful of what I say because you never know …