Today the ‘flare bear’ has come out to play. As predicted, he pressed his button and today we are riding the pain train. For how long is this one going to last? Who knows? A day? A few days…. I don’t know but I do know that it was planned. Every year around this time my friends and I go out and celebrate. We reserve our tables well in advance and we get our tickets and go out for dinner and dancing to a live band. We all have a great time. I push myself thru my flare comfort zone and just enjoy the evening craving for a normalcy I know that I will never have. I ply myself with some pain meds along the way and then when I am ready to go home – meaning my body has been through enough. Or maybe others have had enough to drink. When we, go home, I am totally exhausted! Take some more pain meds and sleep. My husband lets me sleep until I wake up by myself as he knows I will be hurting this morning and I am. I groan like an old woman, peel myself out of bed and kiss hubby good morning. As I groan and go take a shower, he chuckles and empathizes as he knows that I am in pain but he also knows that this is a welcome pain as we had a good time. The only thing I can compare it to is a really bad hangover that hangs around for too long but even that can’t do the flare bear explanation justice. So it looks like we are just going to take it really easy for a few days and then look forward to the next time we can get out and dance!
Photo Credits: Graphicsrf
I went to a scouts meeting as sore as ever and someone at the hall asked what I had done, I told them I went to the dance on Saturday. They said really? There’s going to be another one in May. Are you going to come? (Stupid question!!!) Of course I am. Me and my posse will be there please save a table for us. There you have it folks, the circle of my pain or stupidity whatever you want to call it is out there for all to judge. I think the word Dance just might be a trigger word for me.
Now it’s day 3, the flare bear is still here, not as intense as day one but still bothersome. I kind of want to treat him like a pet and put him on my lap and give him slow pets down the length of his body until he succumbs into some sort of relaxation mode. But my bear will not allow that unfortunately, he is not easily persuaded into “chilling”. I will go to physio and he will help get me feeling a bit better. He will look at me and shake his head. Probably grin underneath his mask….he can judge me in his head if he wants. It’s ok! Like I said, it was self-inflicted and I warned him it was going to happen. So it’s nothing, a bit of physio tape and stretching can’t fix right?
Day 4 and my body is ready to boycott. I was supposed to go and pay my respects to a friend as her mom passed but I know if I go my body will go full on flare. When I try to explain this to my husband he was like I don’t understand why? You didn’t do a lot yesterday! Maybe not in his eyes but in the flare bear’s eyes it was, and he still hasn’t gotten paid his due from Saturday and he is threatening to press the flare button if I don’t sit this one out. I assess the situation and I tell him my logic behind it. He sighs and gives me his typical..”whatever” response. I wish sometimes that he could be in my shoes for just a bit so he could gain some minuscule understanding of what I am going thru. But this is my mountain, my Everest, and I know that even if he doesn’t understand he will give me the time I need to put Humpty Dumpty together again and resume the climb….but today we rest!
Photo Credits: myEverest
Day 5: ding dong the flare bear has decided to release his grip and let me be me again! Woohoo. Just because he’s let go doesn’t mean that I am fully back to normal. I am still cautious with everything I do today. Just need to be mindful of the body and take my time with everything. I don’t have much to do so I just do a bit of tidying up, make some dinner, complete an online course I was doing and viola the day is filled up with stuff and nonsense!
Photo Credits (Featured Photo): BedsideClub
My Everest... 
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